People Without Children Shouldn’t Judge Parents

“Most people who don’t have children cannot understand how hard it can be to raise them, which makes it that much more annoying when I can tell a childless person is internally shaming me when my kids are acting inappropriately.” – Jennifer Burby It’s always better when people don’t try ...
“Most people who don’t have children cannot understand how hard it can be to raise them, which makes it that much more annoying when I can tell a childless person is internally shaming me when my kids are acting inappropriately.” – Jennifer Burby
People Without Children Shouldn’t Judge Parents

It’s always better when people don’t try to make assumptions based on one little scene and stick by them for as long as possible. It’s easier to just ask or inquire. A simple, polite inquiry would make everything a lot easier. In an article published on the website, Scary Mommy Contributor, Jennifer Burby talks about a shocking exchange she recently had with a commenter on her Facebook page .

“I recently shared an article on my blog’s Facebook page about how people who choose to not have children are not entitled to live in a childfree world,” she wrote. “A guy named Joseph commented that ‘when kids are misbehaving in an intolerant manner, it is almost always shitty parenting.’ (And yes, that’s an exact quote.)”
Jennifer was sure he didn’t know what parents pass through every day. So she replied to his comment and asked whether he had kids. That was all she asked, and the burst of arrogance she received was stunning.

He told her that his comment “represented the statement of an opinion and not an invitation to converse.”

It’s not okay to give a verdict on parents that way.
Children don’t have fully developed personalities yet, so they tend to act out in several different ways. It’s unfair to witness a child for the first time acting silly and decide that the parents aren’t doing a good job. That’s just wrong. It’s even more painful when a person who hasn’t had kids yet makes this allegation.

“Joseph clearly doesn’t have kids,” Jennifer wrote. “You’re right, Joseph. So when my daughter was having an inconsolable meltdown at the public pool the other day, it wasn’t because she was exhausted, had a cold, snuck too many cookies behind my back, or because she is 5 and her mental capacity hasn’t fully developed. It was because I’m a ‘shitty parent.’”

It’s a known fact that there are truly some horrible parents out there, but they are not very many. Parents can’t spend 24 hours a day and 7 days week with their kids. Kids have to go to school, their friends’ houses, the park, the mall, the arcade, and so on. Parents will do their best to educate their children on how to be better, stronger people, but they pick up other values and characters when they are outside the home. They have to figure out the proper direction on their own because we are not inside their heads.

“The judgmental childless person doesn’t see the parent who is trying hard to guide their kids in the right direction,” She explained.

“The parent who is crying in the shower because their child is strong-willed and unmanageable.

The parent who is making every effort to obtain effective treatment for a child who has a disability.

The parent whose fingers are bleeding from putting stars on a sticker chart every single night hoping it incentivizes their child to ‘make good choices.’”

The people who are quick to judge parents don’t see what happen the whole day.

They don’t see the kids when they courtesy to greet their neighbor. They don’t see them step back for an adult to go ahead. They don’t see them sacrifice their seats for an old man on the train. They are not there when the kids are laughing happily and playing in the pool with other kids.

They just happened to turn up when the child was having a bad day, and that’s it. The parents are shitty. Parents who spend every minute of every waking day tending to their kids are suddenly shitty because of one tiny tantrum.
People Without Children Shouldn’t Judge Parents

“We teach our kiddos the importance of sharing and being a good friend, but they will occasionally make another child cry when they don’t want to hand over a couple of Goldfish crackers,” she wrote. “We remind our young children to be considerate of other passengers on airplanes, but sometimes the flight is really, really long, and they end up running up and down the aisles or hysterically crying when their ears are popping.”

These things happen not because parents aren’t doing a fine job raising their kids, but because kids will have to occasionally do those things that makes them kids.